Ponderings

This afternoon I acted on an impulse and read through my previous journal, curious to rediscover the Bronwyn Nicholson of only a few years ago. Wow, talk about a fascinating & interesting hour! I laughed, recalled precious and bittersweet memories, felt older & wiser, and, at times, felt strangely sad and inexperienced compared to Bronwyn-the-16/17-year-old. In so many entries she appears a lot older and wiser than I remember her to be. Interesting. I can't help but wonder what she would think of me as I am now. I then idly ponder whether somewhere, someday, someone will stumble across my writings and what they would think of the person they discover inside...

One thing that struck me as I read was the proof God has been faithful throughout my life. Looking back I can see how His hand was guiding me, even during times where I couldn't sense it. I also see how pleas and prayers I cried out in my distress were answered in ways I did not expect. These are the lyrics to Christian singer Brooke Fraser's song, "Faithful," and I think I know what she means now...

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave;

I wave my arms round about me and blow with all my might.

I cannot sense You close, though I know You're always here,

But the comfort of You near is what I long for.

(Chorus)

When I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same;

When I can't hear You, I know You still hear every word I pray;

And I want You more than I want to live another day;

And as I wait for You, maybe I'm made more faithful.

All the folly of the past -- though I know it is undone

I still feel the guilty one still trying to make it right.

So I whisper soft Your name, let it roll around my tongue,

Knowing You're the only One who knows me.

You know me...

(Chorus)

Show me how I should live this...

Show me where I should walk...

I count this world as loss to me,

You are all I want.

You are all I want.

(Chorus)